hunger for the great light

What did I do this Saturday night? I stayed home and baked my dog some treats. Haha. It was very rewarding. I love cooking and baking, and it's one of the most relaxing things I can think of. Tonight I'm procrastinating some laundry and homework. Maybe I'll just work on the homework and leave the laundry for tomorrow night. 
Good news. I felt the baby move for sure the other night. I was laying in bed, pressing my abdomen to feel where the baby was curled up. I was praying out loud, whispering, praying to feel the baby, or to know for sure the next time it moved. I lay still and quiet, and then there it was, like a tiny punch from the inside. Pow! I laughed and felt joyful and reassured. 
I know many first time moms don't feel the baby until 20 weeks or later, or they do feel it but can't differentiate between that movement and gas or intestinal movement. So I've been trying to concentrate a little more on the uterine region, to try to feel the baby. 
Last night, when Scott got home from work, he walked into the kitchen, looked at me, and said "You're having a girl". He put his hands on my belly and said, "Yep, I think it's a girl". I asked him if he'd been thinking about it all day, and he said that he had not, but that when he walked in and saw me, he felt like he just knew. So now my husband and my best friend think it's a girl. I still don't have any strong intuition either way, and a healthy baby is a healthy baby, and that's what I want. We have an appointment coming up for the ultrasound, and besides finding out the sex, it will just be wonderful to see the baby. Maybe it will make this more real. For now it just seems there's something in there, but not really a human baby. Sometimes I'm also afraid that I'm growing a five armed, two headed creature, but I'm sure I'm not. Just some of those weird pregnant thoughts. 
I'm also happy to say that I weeded the flower bed today, not the whole thing, but 3/4ths of the biggest bed. The bed on the other side of the front door is much smaller, probably just half of the size of the big one, and it has some mint growing in there and I'm trying to figure out how to keep it from taking over. Turns out it's invasive, and I don't want just peppermint growing there, I want to plant some basil there, too. The bed that I worked on today, the big one, is the one where we'll plant tomatoes on one side of the irises that are already growing, and wildflowers on the other side. I think Sean may want to plant some other stuff, but I don't know. On the side with the mint, besides basil, maybe I'll also plant some other herbs. I'd really like some lavender over there, and cilantro. They had oregano there last summer and it did pretty well. 
The hardest part was getting all those wild onions dug up. I read that the best ways to get rid of them are to either just dig them all up, or to put some kind of killer on them, but I don't want chemicals in that flower bed, so I chose the time and labor intensive method. It went by pretty quickly, and the weather was the best it's been all day. 
I have 11 days to start and finish my 10 page research paper. I've done some research, but not enough. I'm intimidated to start writing it, but I know it will be easier than it seems. I've written a 14 page paper before, so I know I can do 10 on a much more interesting topic. I'll probably start writing the first body paragraph, because I think the most intimidating and often over-ambitious part to write is the introduction. I might write that last, that way I won't overshoot my actual research with broad terms and over ambition. 
The last thing I'm going to ramble about tonight is the church we attend. Whenever another Sunday rolls around, and I sit there listening to our pastor speak, I become frustrated with him and want to go to another church. I know Scott feels the same, we've spoken about it before, and it's the community of the church that keeps us there. We LOVE the people we've met there, I mean we truly love them, and we love the pro-active stance the church has regarding serving the city, and there's so many exciting things going on right now, like the non-profit store and the community garden. But the pastor is just . . .  he seems defensive when he preaches, as if he's constantly explaining why our church, or christians in general, or the way he preaches, etc., is the correct, or best thing, compared to others. He seems arrogant when he's doing this, and he comes across as a little boy trying to prove himself. It's not becoming. Some of his views are on the conservative side, well I guess all of them, and that's okay, but Scott and I know that if we expressed our exact beliefs about certain topics (abortion, homosexuality, etc.), that we would probably be told that we were flat out wrong. But we stay there, because of the community. We could go to another church with teaching that was different, but no other church in this area has the community and the outreach that this church has. We discuss this often, and are committed to staying in our community, and we try to give the pastor grace because he is new at preaching, and always asks for feedback, so it's not like he isn't trying. I think that part of it is that he grew up in the church, so he's coming from a much different place than I come from, and to me his preaching is a lot of assumptions, that a non-believer would never understand, or be able to take at face value. That's all, just needed to vent. 
Gotta get some belly pictures up. I can't believe how pregnant I look! But to do that I've gotta get some batteries for the camera. 

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