to see you struggle

I am steeling myself for what I'm about to try - not going in when the baby cries.

I'm terrified. My heart is pounding, actually, and he isn't even crying yet. I put him down (the third time tonight - he just won't sleep!) and walked out, knowing he wasn't asleep yet. Ever since he started teething, he's had more trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. I usually go in there, time and again, and give him his pacifier, lay my hands on his head and chest, and stay with him until I think he's asleep again. I'm tired of doing that.
He's fed. He's been burped. He's warm enough. He does not need me to go back in there.
He sounds pitiful right now. I don't know if I can do this.
I know he'll fall asleep on his own if I just leave him alone, but I don't want him to feel sad.

In baking news - I made the Coffee Crunch Bars. Twice.
I didn't take pictures and I'm not going to give you the recipe. That's because both times I made them they weren't right. The first time I didn't have dark brown sugar, so I used white sugar with molasses instead. They turned out too brittle. The second time I completely forgot a whole stick of butter and they turned out sandy. Both times the flavor was great, though, and that really says something about the integrity of that recipe. It can't be messed up by my silly kitchen blunders. It has fortitude.

What can we talk about instead? Well, there's the four inches or so of snow we have accumulated over the course of the day. It's beautiful, and soft. Not too icy. I walked the dog in the forest and we tasted the fresh snow, falling and slowly collecting on the bridge rail.

. . . .

Exactly 12 minutes into my new plan, I caved. I went in there. He was crying! He was in despair!
Luckily, after I fed him (he wasn't hungry, just needed the comfort) he fell right to sleep, and he hasn't made a peep since.
Now I'm scourging the internet for information on the cry it out method versus a no cry sleep solution. Ah, contrasting information, as usual. Parenting is so individual, and it seems different things work for different babies, and for different parents. I guess I need to talk to Scott about what we're going to do.

Boring update, I know. Hopefully next time I'll have a recipe and some food pictures.

1 comment:

Danyell said...

Hahaha! Oh, love. Jason and I were already getting into about answering the cry vs. not. I'm like, When they're a newborn, OF COURSE you answer their cry. And he's all, Well then they'll think that every time they cry you come running. And I'm like, No, a baby doesn't work that way. It's not sitting there, plotting how to manipulate you into getting what it wants. Geeze!

You can send me your overly crunchy coffee bars. Chewing on stuff is good for your dog's teeth. Why would it be for mine? :)