1.22.2008

i hope you always find someone to take you home

Things are well. 
My neighbor just brought me a vegan cupcake that was AMAZING. So I'm pretty pleased. 
In other news, I'm still getting school sorted out. The good news is that I found a way to utilize all my credits thusfar earned, and to apply them towards a Special Degree. That means I'm very close to being done! I just have to see an advisor again tomorrow to make sure the classes I'm enrolled in will count. And, by the grace of God, literally, I can keep my ceramics class and it goes toward my degree! And I can keep my honors reading class, which I've already bought five or so books for. Alleluia. I just feel so blessed and humbled because I worried for so long about all the hours I'd taken and they didn't seem to amount to anything in the program I was in here, so I felt like I had wasted time and money. But now it is working out fine. 
My photos aren't uploading correctly right now or I'd post a shot of my belly. Now at 6.5 weeks, approximately, and feeling chubby and kind of crazy. But joyful. Still very hungry, and often fatigued. I gave mom permission to start telling relatives today. I also started telling people at work, friends, and neighbors. I'm beginning to feel confident in a healthy pregnancy, and am excited to share my excitement. I also admit to loving the various reactions the news receives. From "Oh, wow" to squealing and laughter, crying in joy, hugs, etc. It's amazing to be receiving all this uplifting feedback just for carrying a life (now feeling more like a ravenous parasite). 

I do feel that I need to not get too caught up in the 'hoopla' and be mindful that it was God's gift for Scott and me, and not something I did alone. It's now "wow, look what i did", it's "wow, look how God has blessed me". I just want to give credit where credit is due. He is the creator, after all. 
Having weird dreams. But that's not new. Craving fruit and sometimes tomato sauce. 
When I told Mom Martin, she wrote me the most beautiful letter, saying that she knew my 'birth Daddy' (my father), was so proud of me and happy for me. She said that when I feel warmth surrounding my belly like a hug, that it was him. She said she knows it sounds crazy, but she knows what she sees and what she feels. She said that every time she looks at me, she sees him above me, and that he's always with me. She also talked about how she and Dad Martin have waited for this baby their whole lives, and how wonderful the baby will be, and that our lives are great and the path we are on is beautiful. She touched my heart so very deeply. 

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