forever's not so long

i am feeling in touch with myself lately, in a way where i am mindful of my heart, keeping it fixed on scott and the great times we have together. sometimes it seems our love will just keep increasing until we are both orbiting the planet. we lift each other so high with words and touch. one of us gives and the other feels giving, and the cycle continues. we do dishes for one another, clean the place for one another, cook pasta at one in the morning for one another. the ways we love are endless.

this is the last week of classes. next week is finals week. then we have a month off for winter break. i'm hoping scott and i will have some time to go on hikes before it snows, whenever that may be.
we'll go to tennessee for christmas eve and christmas day to be with lindsay, george, kate and eli. then we'll migrate over to south carolina and see some of my fam. we'll hop up to north carolina and spend time with jamie and josh in boone. then we'll probably sweep down to georgia to see some friends and scott's parents before heading back west to missouri. can we do it all in ten days? lord, i hope so.
the ones i miss the most: grandmom. jamie. b. scott's mom. the wonderful women in my life.
i miss my dad. my love for him is strong, even though my memories of his face and voice are fading. he'll always live in my heart.

watched the life aquatic last night. i absolutely love everything wes anderson does. i especially liked that movie, which he wrote all by himself.

i read a short story by jeanette winterson in which the main character gets a puppy and begins spending time with it. she talks about the intimacies of puppy love - the naps together, the way you feel your dog meets you at your rough edges. how wonderful the dog is, just as he is, and how you strive to be good in return, to love as he loves, unguarded.
"It's just a dog. Yes, I know, but he's found me out."
sometimes loving rufus and being his friend and provider feels like that.

here's a good quote: "draw near to god and he will draw near to you"