A little dark, but there's the belly in it's full glory - 40 weeks today. I really didn't think we'd make it this far, perhaps I'm just an optimist, but I hoped and believed he'd come a little sooner.
In gross news, I passed more mucous today, which could be a sign that labor is imminent - it is anyway, at this point, because it's going to happen sooner or later. But I've also been feeling a lot of sensation today, maybe contractions? It's hard to tell. I'm banking on the fact that at some point contractions will be more than uncomfortable, they'll be downright painful, and then I'll know it's the real thing. Until then I'll be hanging out with these uncomfortable twinges and pressure and crampy stuff.
Watched 'Man On Wire' tonight with a friend - it's an incredible documentary! I can't wait to rent it and watch it with Scott whenever it's available.
Last night a bunch of people were over for a barbecue-turned-jam session in our front yard. We had a guitar, banjo, mandolin, mouth harp, musical saw, tambourine, hand drum and spoons. Everyone sat on the front stoop and surrounding chairs and ground for four or five hours, just chatting and jamming. It reminded me of hanging out with the tribe. It was a great night, it even got chilly and I had to wear a zip up sweatshirt.
Friday night we went camping, Scott, Sean, Mimi, Gen and me. And Rufus, of course. We had a great fire, made s'mores and grilled hot dogs and brats. I couldn't sleep worth shit, because I can only sleep on my sides, and the ground was too hard on my hips. So I shifted every five minutes, and Scott woke up constantly to ask if I was okay. I was wishing to go into labor so I wouldn't have to keep trying to sleep on that hard ground.
My mind has been an interesting place lately. Sometimes I am filled with impatience, pleading for strong contractions, ready to have the baby. Then at other times I barely remember that I'm waiting for a life-changing event, and I'm content in the moment. Every time I become impatient Scott says - "do you realize what you're wishing for?" which is a great reminder that it's not that bad right now, the waiting. It's certainly not as bad as the nausea of the first trimester, or the sciatica, or having people say all the time "are you sure you don't have twins in there?", etc. The waiting at the tail end of pregnancy is kind of peaceful, and it's a great exercise in patience and trust. Just waiting . . . knowing that my body is right on schedule and the baby will arrive at the perfect time for him to arrive. And trying to relish the solitude I'll never experience again in my life. (whoa)
But I am pretty excited to meet the little guy who's been living inside me for so long.
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